♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪
♪ They're the world's Most fearsome fighting team ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪
♪ They're heroes In the half-shell ♪
♪ And they're green ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪
♪ When the evil Shredder Attacks ♪
♪ These Turtle boys Don't cut him no slack ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪
♪ Heroes in a half-shell ♪
♪ Turtle power! ♪
[♪♪♪]
We should be safe here, Betty.
SPACE TURTLE: Wrong again, Bob Collins.
You are doomed.
We Space Turtles are taking over this planet.
Don't be so sure of that.
[YELLS]
Light. The one thing we Space Turtles cannot endure.
We must flee.
To our rocket ship.
They're leaving the planet.
Yes, for now,
but I'm afraid we haven't seen the last of the Space Turtles.
"The end" question mark?
What, couldn't they make up their minds?
DONATELLO: All those '50s monster movies end that way, Raphael.
Man, that was some serious sci-fi.
I want to see it again.
How many times can one person watch
Invasion of the Space Turtles?
Especially considering that we know
a real, live space turtle.
Oh, yeah.
Our little bud Kerma.
But he's not ferocious like those dudes in the movie.
Yeah, I'll say,
but Turtleoids don't have the slightest idea
how to defend themselves.
Not exactly a good thing,
considering the main thing they produce is gold.
And gold is crucial to their survival.
Even the buildings on Shell-Ri-La
are made of gold.
Well, now that we've gotten
all the exposition out of the way,
what do we do next?
I'm worried.
Just about anyone could attack the Turtleoids for their gold.
You think our little Turtleoid bud could be in danger?
Well, there's only one way to find out.
Let's go to Channel 6.
We can try to contact Kerma
with the broadcasting equipment there.
[♪♪♪]
SHREDDER: My super sword is nearly finished.
A blade which could cut through anything.
Even those turtles' miserable shells.
Now, for the most delicate part.
Any variation in temperature could ruin--
[YELLS]
Krang!
What the blazes is wrong
with our power?
Yeah. The juice went out
in the middle of our game of "Space Geeks."
Oh, and I was winning too.
KRANG: The Technodrome is running
dangerously low on energy.
I've diverted all power to my lab.
Hey, why should you hog all the volts?
Because, unlike the rest of you meatheads,
I have been working on a plan to repower the place.
There happens to be an unbelievably powerful
solar storm occurring right now.
What good will that do us?
We're at the bottom of the ocean.
Oh, but up in the city
there's a way of capturing all that solar power.
The lightning rod atop the Colossus Building
is made out of a rare alloy
which soaks up energy like a sponge.
I can turn it into a massive solar collector.
We'll run a cable to it and the Technodrome
will be fully powered again.
And what happens when those accursed turtles try to stop us?
Heh-heh. Did you think I would conceive a plan this brilliant
without taking them into account?
DRONE: Awaiting target data.
What the devil are they?
Hunter drones.
The most lethal tracking robots ever made.
I had them drop-shipped from Dimension X.
DRONE: Data assimilated.
It's going to take more than a couple of robots
to stop those reptiles.
Au contraire.
In a few hours
our turtle problem will finally be solved.
APRIL: I'm sorry, guys,
but our transmitting equipment is tied up right now.
The only time you could use it is after 4 in the morning.
When we're off the air.
Looks like we'll have to wait
until then to contact Kerma.
Maybe not, compadres,
check it out. A telescope.
VERNON: Oh, excuse me.
That happens to be a birthday present from my best friend
in the whole wide world.
And who might that be, Vernon?
Me. I should have known.
Hey, now we can check out Kerma for ourselves.
Michelangelo,
you can't see Shell-Ri-La
through that dinky little telescope,
it's millions of light years away.
But it only took us an hour
to get there in the Turtleoid spaceship.
Well, that's because their spaceship uses a transwarp drive
which generates a flux in the space-time continuum.
Excuse me?
[♪♪♪]
Whoa, dudes, we're about to have company.
Don't you hate it when buildings drop in unannounced?
That's no building.
It's the Turtleoid spaceship.
Kerma.
MICHELANGELO: Are we glad to see you, little dude.
The feeling is mutual, my reptilian brothers,
for you see, I have a little problem.
Oh, no, not again.
It would be best if I explained it to you
during the trip to Shell-Ri-La.
Totally cosmic, dudes.
BURNE: There's a giant spaceship right outside the building.
I know, chief, I know. [RUMBLING]
Wh--? What's that?
DRONE: Last sensor reading indicates targets in this structure.
BURNE: Ooh, they must the creatures from that spaceship.
Get an interview with 'em.
[GASPS]
Suppose they're not friendly?
Vernon, don't be a weenie. They're perfectly harmless.
Now, go, go, go.
[GASPS]
Uh, how do you like the weather in our city?
Target interference. Eliminate.
[YELLS]
[ALL SHOUTING]
We've gotta do something
before they tear the station apart.
Guys, come in. Come in!
April, look.
Oh, no. The turtles must have gone with Kerma.
They sure picked a rotten time to take a vacation.
[♪♪♪]
Those things are going to put us off the air.
Permanently.
And the turtles are gone.
According to the organic life form,
targets have vacated the building.
DRONE 2: Sensors confirm non-presence of targets.
We must relocate the targets.
RAPHAEL: All right, Kerma,
what's your little problem this time?
You recall how defenseless we Turtleoids were
when Herman the Horrible attacked us?
Of course. We had to deal with him.
And the same thing happened
when that robot Destructor X was sent after me by mistake.
Yeah, we had to bail you out of that one too.
That got me thinking.
What if we Turtleoids had robots like that to defend us?
So I built some.
You built some robots?
Only four so far,
but not one of them is functioning properly.
I thought perhaps Donatello could fix them.
After all, it was he who installed
the pulverizer ray on this ship.
Well, that shouldn't be too hard.
[♪♪♪]
Non-existence of targets
in this urban cluster confirmed.
Logical conclusion: Targets no longer exist.
KERMA: I put a lot of time and effort into these robots, my friends,
I hope you like them.
MICHELANGELO: Dudes, they look like us.
RAPHAEL: Well, they say imitation
is the sincerest form of flattery.
Now, try to attack them,
and you will see what the problem is.
Well, okay.
[♪♪♪]
Holy guacamole.
They're a bunch of heavy metal scaredy-cats.
I'd say you have a major design flaw here, Kerma.
Targets no longer exist.
At last, the turtles are destroyed.
I'd believe it a lot sooner
if they brought us their empty shells.
The hunter drones never lie,
and with the turtles out of the way,
the city's as good as ours.
DONATELLO: Well, the problem is obvious.
Kerma doesn't know enough about aggression
to program any of it into these robots.
I can reprogram them,
but it's gonna be a laborious mind-taxing process.
RAPHAEL: Well, have fun.
We'll be off enjoying ourselves if you need us.
MICHELANGELO: You know, dudes,
maybe for once Kerma's little problem
really is just a little problem.
Speaking of which, Kerma, have you had any more trouble
from Groundchuck and Dirtbag?
None at all.
Ever since they escaped from prison,
and stole a small spaceship,
they have been no trouble whatsoever.
Kerma, didn't it occur to you
that they might come back for your gold?
No, why should it? [SHIP APPROACHING]
I'll give you one great big reason.
MICHELANGELO: I recognize Groundchuck and Dirtbag,
but who's the big dude?
It's Captain Dredd,
the most feared brigand in the whole galaxy.
Okay, partner, yeah.
Now, where's that little old gold machine of yours.
MICHELANGELO : Cowabunga!
[GRUNTS]
[♪♪♪]
Come on, stinkface,
hit me with your best shot.
Hey, don't you make fun
of my prize-winning good looks, boy.
[GRUNTS]
[GRUNTING]
Now, that's what I call throwing the bull.
Come on down and play in the dirt, turtles.
[YELLS]
[WHEEZES]
Don't come any closer.
He's got Kerma.
KERMA: My friends, save me.
Those creepazoids took our cosmic compadre.
[♪♪♪]
KRANG: The city is as good as ours.
Heh. Oh, boy.
I always wanted my own city.
Can we rename it after me?
We can pretty much do what we want to,
but first
we must get the Technodrome re-powered.
To the Colossus Building.
[♪♪♪]
[CAPTAIN DREDD WHEEZES]
Taking the Turtleoids gold was not exactly the simple job
you said it would be, Dirtbag.
We're going to need reinforcements.
Nobody defeats the great Captain Dredd.
Nobody.
LEONARDO: How soon can you get those robots operational, Donatello?
I honestly can't say,
but if those goons are after the Turtleoids gold machine,
there may be another way to stop them.
Remember the force field generator
that used to protect this whole city?
Yes.
And I also remember how it got blown to bits by Groundchuck.
Whatever you're thinking,
it's probably way too optimistic.
It'll never protect the entire city,
but I could jerry-rig it
to throw a force dome over the gold machine.
Aw, nuts.
Why are you doing this to me?
Because we don't like you.
I know I'm just a meek Turtleoid,
but I can only take so much.
[GRUNTS]
[SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
[DOOR OPENS]
I'm looking for a few bad men.
DONATELLO: Can you believe that weird-looking contraption
actually produces gold?
[WHIRRING, HUMMING]
LEONARDO: Nice work, Donatello.
The gold machine is safe.
Yeah, not a moment too soon. Look.
Kerma? Oh, my friends.
I've been through so much.
You mean you actually managed to get free from those goons
and steal the ship from under their noses?
I thought Turtleoids weren't supposed to be able
to do stuff like that.
They pushed me too far.
Kerma, can it be you're ready to start defending yourself?
I'm not sure.
Perhaps you could give me some pointers?
And I better get back to reprogramming those robots.
KRANG: With the turtles out of the way,
we can take anything in the city.
Starting with this building.
ROCKSTEADY: And stay out.
[GRUNTS]
You know, this is almost too painful to watch.
[SIGHS]
Now, remember, Kerma, our Master Splinter says:
"It takes total concentration to perform these moves."
[SHIP APPROACHING]
Uh, I think we'd better call it a day.
RAPHAEL: Well, came back for seconds, eh?
No. We've come for the gold.
Meet the brute force.
[ALL SHOUTING]
Guys, the robots are ready.
[GRUNTS]
What are you waiting for? Turn 'em on!
[POWERING ON]
Not us, you idiot. We're the good guys.
Maybe I overdid it.
Oh, man,
is that the understatement of the century.
[♪♪♪]
[ALL SHOUTING]
I, uh, guess I made them a little too aggressive, huh?
Whoa.
Aggressive? Try psychotic, pal.
Kerma, help us. Remember your training?
My natural instincts are too strong.
I can't concentrate.
The turtles will be finished by their own robots.
It's perfect.
To the gold machine.
[YELLS]
[GRUNTING] [BEEPING]
Donatello, shut these metal maniacs off.
I'm trying, I'm trying.
[POWERING DOWN]
Ugh. Can't you get those robots to attack the right people?
I'm altering their programming now.
[♪♪♪]
Excellent.
The cable from the Technodrome is ready
and my modifications
to the spire are nearly complete.
When the sun comes up,
it will start absorbing energy from the solar storm
and victory will be ours.
We've got to get that gold machine.
There's plenty of gold for us here.
All we have to do is take it.
Okay, uh, I've got the robots working,
but, uh, there's something none of us has thought about.
Those creepazoids are tearing the place apart, dudes.
Okay, but I don't think this is gonna work.
[POWERING ON]
What the heck?
That's what I was trying to tell you.
See, those robots are made of gold
and gold is a very soft metal.
Well, as usual,
we're going to have to do it all by ourselves.
Yeehaw!
It's a golden roundup.
My beautiful robots.
No!
That's the last straw.
[♪♪♪]
Way to go, Kerma.
Maximum turtle power.
I'm gonna get that gold machine
by digging underneath it.
KRANG: The modifications are complete.
We must return to the Technodrome.
And once it's re-powered
we'll storm the city.
[SHREDDER LAUGHS]
I'm gonna bushwhack you, boy.
[WHISTLES]
Hey, toro, toro. Toro!
Ooh, that makes me see red.
Ooh.
[GRUNTS]
[CHUCKLES]
What a sucker.
Ooh, I've been hornswoggled.
Fiends! Robot wreckers!
[GRUNTS]
I should be right under the gold machine.
Ah, trapped.
Don't knock yourself out.
We'll just flush him to the surface.
[YELLS]
Leave my friend alone.
Boy, that's a neat trick.
Maybe I could reprogram that goon's body
the way I did the robots.
Gnarly notion, dude. Go for it.
Do you want to be destroyed along with your friend?
No.
I want you to drop that sword.
What? What the--?
My body, I can't control it.
Oh, don't be so hard on yourself.
No, no, no.
You can't do this to me.
I'm the great Captain Dredd.
Face it, dude.
From now on, you're the great Captain Mud.
Let's get these creeps locked up so we can go home.
[♪♪♪]
KRANG: The sun is rising.
It's solar energy is already pouring into the Technodrome.
DONATELLO: Look at that.
What's going on?
RAPHAEL: That big cable runs into the river
and straight into the Technodrome I'll bet.
Krang and Shredder must be trying to restore their power.
Kerma, blast that cable.
With pleasure.
Now what?
It's impossible!
No, it's the turtles.
Krang, you fool.
They weren't destroyed,
they were off in space.
KERMA: My friends, how can I ever thank you?
You've given me my self-respect back.
You're totally awesome, little space dude.
Now, maybe, you can teach the other Turtleoids
how to defend themselves.
Anyone who messes with us
is going to wish he'd never been born.
[♪♪♪]
Turtleoids rule!
All right, who's going to clean this mess up?
Uh, gee, I just remembered a bunch of things I need to do.
Yeah, I-I-I gotta alphabetize
my comic book collection and then--
Shut up and get to work.
All right, time to watch
Invasion of the Space Turtles again.
Again? Uh, didn't we just live that movie?
NARRATOR [ON TV]: Turtles. The most peaceful creatures in the galaxy
until they learned the art of war.
Now they're the greatest danger the universe has ever known.
You know, maybe we didn't do such a good thing after all.
Oh, come on. The Turtleoids can defend themselves now
and that is the end of it.
Maybe.
But is it really the end, or only the beginning?
Face it, dude.
It's the end.
[♪♪♪]